||[Sep. 23rd, 2008|04:29 am]
What did you dream about last night?
I'm dressed a bit South Dakota in this one. Wearing my trucker-style jean jacket and a pair of cowboy boots. I walk into a classroom that has a coffee bar at the front of it. I think, yeah, i think I would like a cup of joe. So I stand at the coffee bar, waiting to order a cup of drip coffee, but I couldnt tell which of the people sitting at desks was the employee. |
I stand, waiting. Nothing happens. Mildly irritated, I sit down at a desk at the back of the room. I try to start conversations with people around me. They immediately point their noses at the ceiling, and return to their original conversations, with a look of disgust, as though my attempts to initiate conversation had soiled them somehow.
Oh. I think to myself. I'm in Washington State again.
So I stand up. I do something I never did in all of my time there.
"Where the fuck do you people get off being THIS stuck up? I mean, who the fuck do you people think you are?" And so I rail at them for their elitism, saying that their elitism was elitism for its own sake, and that there wasnt really any substance behind it.
So I sit back down.
There is a woman ( who looks about in my own age cohort ) who turns around and talks to me about what I said.
"We're not that bad, are we?" She asks.
"You're far worse than you understand." I begin my tirade. "You people are so impossibly Xenophobic, I dont even know where to begin. No one else in the western US acts like you. You assume you are the pinnacle of western civilization, but you are too arrogant to test your assumption against reality. When I left, I had plenty of friends - some i had just met in college at UNM, and some I had known my whole life. But here - I spent 7 years here and hardly connected to anyone. How can you just assume I am inferior because I came from New Mexico until you actually get to know me? Do you have any idea how retarded that sounds? No one else in the US is this stuck up."
"Im sorry." she says. "They could tell you werent one of them because you tried to order drip coffee at the front of the classroom." So I look around. "If you had ordered Sushi and a Latte you wouldnt have stood out immediately."
"What class is this, anyway?" I ask. I start to suspect I dressed intentionally like a hick to antagonze the tonians.
"These are all adjuncts." She said. "And dont worry. They all act like this. So, have you decided which planet you'e going to?" She asks me.
"What planet? Excuse me?" I ask.
"For the end of the world."
"End of the world?" I know I am really out of the loop.
"Oh, come on. I know you felt it in your gut that this is it. The world is ending tomorrow." She says.
"Fuck. If I had known that, I wouldnt have spent the last 7 years in the land of Lattes and upturned noses."
"You have to take the number 65 bus to the interdimensional / transgalactic transit center, and choose a planet." she instructs me. Appearantly, class was letting out, and the Class Barista ( I realize they've gone way too fucking far when they started putting Starbucks at the front of college classrooms ) seems happy to serve coffee to anyone who isnt me. And he knows them all.
The woman with the long blonde hair has trouble zipping up her coat for some reason, and I help her. She thanks me, and I go outside, walk acoss a campus, to the 65 bus. It takes me to the downtown interplanetary / intergalactic transit center in downtown Spokane. It looks something like an airport, with uncountable motorized walkways leading towards gates that look like the gates on stargate, or the farcasters in the Endimyion books. On the wall is a giant viewscreen that shows the progress of the invasion fleet. In front of a Deathstar is a fleet of Mirror Universe enterprise type spacecraft from the original series. As they approached, I could hear the menacing music that always plays on the original star trek when a klingon ship is approaching.
Along the walkway is Darth Vader, and he is helping people find the right planet.
No, there isnt just one of him. There are hundreds of Vaders, all happily helping people. So I ask him why there is an invasion fleet advancing on earth. I look up and see space battles, as aliens who like us try to stop them. They win some and lose some.
"They have decided humans are too much of a potential threat, so they are going to blow up your planet and mine it for resources. They will be here tomorrow." I decide I am glad I was finally let in on the apocalypse, and was able to find the interplanetary / interdimensional transit center in downtown Spokane. I see a group of people I supposedly knew in high school, and try to stand behind them. They turn around, give a disgusted look at seeing me again, and hop over the railings of the walkways and walk swiftly to another one. I feel a bit stung by being ditched, but passively decide to just watch them go, and fprget about them. In front of me is one person - a girl I knew from first grade all the way through high school.
"Which gateway is this walkway going to?" I ask her.
"The planet run by The Covenant of Different Tastes." She says to me.
"What is The Covenant of Different Tastes?"
"The Covenant of Different Tastes is a human organization that formed soon after we discovered that Earth is going to be destroyed. They decided they wanted to throw away all of the old aesthetic principles, and common thought processes that made Western civilization so tedious. They want to build buildings with different architecture. They want to eat different food - like insects. Did you know that insects are high in protein and low in fat, and that there are a number of tasty ways to prepare them? Anyway, the Covenant of DIfferent Tastes wants to expirament with these kinds of things, and create a completely new way of life." I look up at the monitor and see the menacing Star Trek and Star Wars spaceships fight more epic battles.
I decide that this sounds like a good idea. The Covenant of Different Tastes. We should do everything differently. Except the bugs thing. I didnt know if I could eat bugs.
"I guess I could try eating insects." I say. "Maybe if they were cooked in a tasty stiry fry, or something."
In front of me I see the huge interplanetary gate, and a map of the new planet displayed on a viewscreen, and decide that this will be the planet I escape to. The walkway is leading into the portal, which swirls with purple and blue light.